Some women are taking more control of their dating lives by joining private Facebook groups to share dirt on former dates so others don’t waste their time.
Members of the groups warn each other about registered sex offenders or sexually aggressive men on dating apps. They are allowed to post anonymously and must agree on several ground rules to join the group, including no bullying, no defamation and no sharing content from inside the group at risk of being banned.
“The posts that are on here is to call out anything that’s going to risk our safety again, like physical safety and sexual health safety,” Amy Montoya, a member of a private group, said.
For example, a man who brutally killed a stranger he thought was a werewolf while having a mental break described himself in an online dating profile as “an easy-going adventurer who believes in universal connection” after a couple of years of travel. Some members of the Facebook group matched with him and posted his story as a warning.
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“I think that is really the most important thing that comes out of these, is being able to be aware of something like that before meeting up with a dangerous individual,” Molly Kirschner, a member of the group, said.
Not all posts are negative. A number of them are complimentary of men, such as “super nice” or “not a single red flag to be said.”
“I think at the end of the day, the objective is not to man-shame or talk about having a terrible date,” Montoya said.
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Members agree the groups aren't about hating men but protecting and empowering women.
“I think it shows that there’s really a need for this,” Kirschner said. “And women haven’t maybe had a place in the past where they felt safe to do this.”
Reported by Susan Hogan, produced by Ambar Rodriguez, and shot and edited by Lance Ing.
