Mom of 12-year-old CEO shares her 2 parenting non-negotiables: ‘It's important for the child to be a child'

It's no surprise to Evana Oli that her 12-year-old daughter Zoe is a successful business owner.

The Atlanta-based middle schooler is co-founder and CEO of Beautiful Curly Me, a doll company she launched at age 7 after being teased about her hair texture in school. Beautiful Curly Me boasts brown dolls with natural hairstyles, children's books and hair care products.

At first, Oli wasn't sure how serious her young daughter was about starting her own business. But after a few months and lots of pestering from Zoe, Oli took $5,000 from her savings to get a prototype of the doll designed ,secure an affordable manufacturer and launch the brand.

In 2022, the Beautiful Curly Me brought in revenue in the low six-figures, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. Oli declined to share 2023 revenue.

Zoe is a straight-A student and the co-founder of startup accelerator Youth Mean Business — which provides grants, mentorship, networking opportunities and professional workshops for young entrepreneurs between ages 11 and 17.

"She's very passionate," Oli tells CNBC Make It. "She's always thinking of the next thing and I just love that energy."

Oli left her 17-year career as a marketing executive to help her daughter run Beautiful Curly Me and Youth Mean Business, handling the companies' operations while also running her own marketing and product management consultancy.

She credits her daughter's success so far to these two parenting non-negotiables.

'It's important for the child to be a child'

First: Oli wants to make sure Zoe experiences a normal childhood, she says.

"There's a lot demanding her attention at every point in time," she says. "[But] it's important for the child to still be a child. I think it's very important to be intentional about making sure she still enjoys being a 12-year-old girl."

That includes a typical school schedule, extracurricular activities like tennis, track and theater, and regular sleepovers with friends. Zoe can tend to her business responsibilities — attending meetings, creating social media strategy and product development — after her school work is done and during free time in the summer.

"She has a really full, well-rounded life," Oli says. "It's just finding that balance and making sure [your child] still remains grounded in who they are."

For parents of kids with a lot of responsibilities, it can be hard to not be pushy. But overly pressuring them to be the best can cause anxiety and self-esteem issues that make them less likely to be "well-adjusted and successful in later life," a 2016 study by Arizona State University on sixth graders found.

Try to let your kids self-direct, allowing them to explore their interests in their own way while still providing encouragement when needed, senior child and adolescent educational psychologist Melernie Meheux told Make It in 2022.

"I would always give kind feedback, if you want to encourage and motivate, sort of noticing what they do well, and not being too critical," said Meheux, adding that children ultimately perform better when they are "relaxed and happy and content."

Don't try to live through your child

It can be natural to want your kids to follow in your footsteps, or yield to your life advice, but you've got to allow them to follow their own passions if you want them to be truly happy and successful, Oli says.

Oli says she's passionate about helping people achieve their business goals through smart branding and marketing strategy, and being active in her community through service opportunities geared towards women and young girls.

When it comes to all of Zoe's titles and accomplishments, "this is not a situation where I'm trying to live my dreams [through my kid]," says Oli. "I'm just blessed to be able to support her on this journey."

This outlook is important for raising resilient, successful children. Take it from Debra Lee, the former CEO of Black Entertainment Television (BET). Lee spent her whole life living up to her father's dream by getting stellar grades, going to an Ivy League university and becoming a successful corporate lawyer. The result: a life and career of unfulfillment and self-doubt, until she took a chance on the TV network while it was in its early stages.

You can help your child be more successful by establishing your expectations without placing strict limits on them, and trusting them to make their own decisions, bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki recommends.

"When you trust kids to make their own decisions, they start to feel more engaged, confident and empowered," she wrote for Make It in 2022. "And once that happens, there's no limit to what they can achieve."

Oli agrees, saying, "My job as [Zoe's] support system is to just help her bring her [dreams] to life, making sure she's not burning herself out or overstretching."

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