Since her show debuted in 2002, Ina Garten has enchanted Americans with her rustic recipes, intimate dinner parties, and use of "good olive oil." Central to this idyllic snapshot of Garten's life is her husband Jeffrey. Always entering just as the table is being set, Jeffrey presents as the soft-spoken, supportive husband that clearly loves his wife.

In her new memoir "Be Ready When the Luck Happens" Garten, 76, reveals that her and Jeffrey's marriage was on the precipice of dissolution. In fact, they separated at Garten's request for a brief period of time in the 1970s.

When Jeffrey asked what he could do to win her back Garten said one thing: go to therapy.

'Women everywhere were rethinking their roles and responsibilities'

The rift started when Garten bought a specialty food shop in Westhampton, New York. She had no prior experience in the food industry and had never run a business. Her previous job was working on policy budgets at the White House.

While Jeffrey was supportive of her ambitions, he also expected her to fit the traditional wife role, she writes in her book.

"I'd be the wife, responsible for everything domestic, and Jeffrey would be the 'man' who helped occasionally," she writes. "It wasn't the stupid chores that bothered me; it was the feeling that I wasn't an equal partner."

She emphasizes that Jeffrey's attitude was shared by most men in the 1970s. And Garten was realizing that even though there were more professional doors open for women than ever before, that didn't relieve her and her peers of their domestic duties.

"Women everywhere were rethinking their roles and responsibilities," Garten writes. "Yes, we had new opportunities in the 1970s, but it began to dawn on us that we were expected to add them to whatever we did in our traditional roles. It wasn't having it all, it was doing it all."

She tried neglecting chores in order to send Jeffrey a message that she wanted a shift in partnership dynamics, but he didn't get the hint.

Eventually, she asked for a separation. "I didn't say whether it was for now .... or forever," she writes.

Jeffrey responded by saying that if she felt she needed to be on her own, he would respect her wishes. He left to return to his work in Washington D.C. that summer.

When the two reconnected, Jeffrey asked if there was anything he could do, to which she responded "therapy."

He went the very next day, she writes. And it saved their marriage.

'There are different kinds of breaks and different intentions behind them'

Breaks are often seen as a doomed final attempt to rescue a floundering partnership. But, certain separations can actually strengthen a relationship, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver.

"There are different kinds of breaks and different intentions behind them," she says.

Some breaks are fueled by unhappiness and an inability to function. These Bobby calls "I can't do this" breaks.

The one Garten and Jeffrey took seems to be more of a "therapeutic separation," she says.

"The intention of that is needing some space to get clarity about what it is you want and also some space to be working on yourself and your relationship, but you need to step outside what currently feels like a negative relational cycle," she says.

Distressed relationships can often stunt growth. Pressing pause can eliminate a stressor and help one see what they need and how to communicate that to a partner.

'If we worked toward the same goal, we could change things together'

Requesting a partner go to therapy can also be positive or negative depending on the intention of the ask.

"In one aspect it can be a negative and unproductive thing if someone believes all of their relationship problems are solely the fault and responsibility of their partner to fix," Bobby says.

But, in a long term relationship asking a partner to go to therapy because you want them to figure out whether your growth in something they can support can net some clarity.

Garten wanted a husband who was fine with her not fitting into the traditional gender roles.

"I suspect [Garten's request] was a lot more like, 'If you want to be with me you need to work through some of this stuff to see if you can shift and evolve,'" Bobby says.

To Garten's relief, therapy did help Jeffrey change his perspective, not only on her but himself. It turns out he also found the gender norms limiting.

"Jeffrey admitted that he wanted a job where her traveled for work but always felt that he should stay home because he was the husband and had to be responsible for me," Garten writes. "He understood — maybe for the first time — that he didn't have to feel that way anymore."

Moving forward Garten and Jeffrey worked to be equals who heard and supported each other.

"It wouldn't happen overnight, but if we worked toward the same goal, we could change things together," Garten writes.

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