News

How to respond to ‘Who did you vote for?' when you just don't want to talk about it: ‘Be direct, be clear, be authentic'

Maskot | Maskot | Getty Images

How to respond to ‘Who did you vote for?’ when you just don’t want to talk about it: ‘Be direct, be clear, be authentic’

It's likely that anyone you talk to this week will want to discuss the election.

And while socializing and staying busy can alleviate some stress during this process, being in contact with certain friends or family can have the opposite effect, says Vanessa Kennedy, the director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery, a rehabilitation center in Austin, Texas.

"We all know people who may add to our anxiety as opposed to calming us in the face of uncertainty," she says.

If you want to avoid talking about who you voted for, or the election altogether, it's best to prepare some responses now should you encounter questions you don't want to answer.

There are a few communication strategies that politely steer the conversation away from voting, says Matt Abrahams, a Stanford University lecturer and communications expert.

"Don't hem and haw," he says. "Be direct, be clear, be authentic."

Here are four ways to answer the questions "Who did you vote for?" without actually answering it:

  • Blame: Tell the other person you made an agreement with yourself that you aren't going to talk politics. You can say something like "I made a rule for myself that I'm not going to discuss the election until it's totally over." You can also blame it on your partner saying "I promised them we wouldn't talk about the election this week."
  • Reframe: Shift the topic to be about a ballot measure or local race. This way you can engage the other person while honoring your boundaries. "Say you don't want to talk about the presidential election, but can talk about your congressman," Abrahams says.
  • Explain: This is the most straightforward method. Tell the other person you're just not comfortable talking about it right now. Abrahams suggests saying something like this: "After a couple days when the dust settles, I'll feel more at ease discussing this."
  • Entertain: Ask the other person about their views or how they are handling the election cycle. You can still participate without revealing your own stance.

Whatever you choose, be sure it feels natural to you. Abrahams uses the "explain" method.

"I never encourage you to be disingenuous," he says. "For me, I don't want to talk about it because I'm super emotional. So I explain that's how I'm feeling."

And if, for example, a reframe doesn't work, move on to a tactic you think will be more respected.

Want to make extra money outside of your day job? Sign up for CNBC's online course How to Earn Passive Income Online to learn about common passive income streams, tips to get started and real-life success stories.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

Copyright CNBC
Exit mobile version