When a friend throws an unexpected jab your way, it stings more than an unpleasant comment from a stranger.

It's also harder to know how to proceed because, unlike with a stranger, you will have to see them again.

Sara Jane Ho, who is the host of the Netflix show "Mind Your Manners" and author of a book by the same name, has a pretty clear idea on how to deal with a rude comment without putting another person down.

Here's how to respond to a sassy remark and shut down negativity in social settings.

'Are you OK?'

"If it were a friend who said something mean to you, I usually look up and say, 'Are you OK?'," Ho told CNBC Make It.

Those three words can politely signal that what your friend said was out-of-line.

Just as important as content is tone, Ho emphasizes. When you say, "Are you OK?" don't be short or sharp. Use a friendly affect.

"I'm not being offensive back," she says. "I'm coming from a place of care and that is usually to put the other person in check." 

The right way to shut down a negative friend

Sometimes when a friend is in a bad head space, these comments can become pervasive.

If put-downs like this increase in frequency, it's OK to push back, Thema Bryant, a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and former president of the president of the American Psychological Association told CNBC Make It.

Just don't do it in a "hostile or argumentative way," she says.

"When they say something that is putting you down or putting the whole group down, in one sentence refute it," she says. "Counter it so it doesn't sit there as truth." 

How to end the friendship

If the friendship has become untenable either due to your friend's negative disposition or more benign reasons like the two of you growing apart, it's OK to end the relationship.

There are ways to sever ties without being cruel, Bryant says. Here are three steps to rejecting someone with kindness.

• Do it sooner rather than later. "As soon as you know you don't want to be connected with them anymore, the sooner you can communicate that the better," Bryant says. If you're people-pleasing or conflict averse this might be uncomfortable, but ultimately it's the more respectful thing to do. "When you're avoiding someone you might hurt them worse," Bryant says.
• Don't list all their flaws. Share your reason for ending the friendship, in a measured way, to give them some clarity, but you don't need to "go into your list of complaints about the person if you're not trying to fix a relationship," Bryant says. 
• Stick to your decision. Don't continue the friendship out of convenience. This could look like avoiding them when you have plans but calling them when you're bored, Bryant says. 

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