An introvert’s guide to speaking up in meetings: Be ‘pointed and succinct,’ one expert says
I've always admired people to whom speaking up during meetings comes naturally. By the time I raise my hand or interject, I've gone through a series of mental battles and thought of every way in which my comment could be interpreted poorly.
Usually, it's totally fine, but I still find it hard to shake that initial anxiety.
In her new book "Smart, Not Loud," Jessica Chen reflects on how growing up in a "quiet culture," or one that didn't value speaking up or taking up room during a meeting, can negatively affect people.
"Finding the right words to say in front of others can be one of the most frustrating games we play in our own head," she writes. "We can be sitting in a meeting quietly processing what's happening, while the other side of our brain is telling us loudly we have to say something."
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Chen, now the CEO of communications training agency SoulCast, offers up a strategy for contributing during meetings in an impactful way.
Called the "A4 Sequence," it's a series of actions that can help you chime in at the right time with the right information.
"Speaking at meetings is about being pointed and succinct," she writes.
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Active listening: gauge timing.
Active listening is often used to describe listening with the intent to understand the other person. In this case, Chen uses active listening to describe listening with the intent to know when to speak.
"Actively looking for these cues when listening is how we can get a temperature check of the situation," Chen writes. Some signals that it's a good time for you to speak include:
- If a person starts addressing the tasks your specific team is responsible for.
- If someone relaxes their posture and looks around.
- A change in vocal pitch could signal a person is ending their thought.
Acknowledging: create seamlessness.
Once you figure out when to speak up, the first few words out of your mouth should be acknowledging what the previous speaker said.
"Acknowledging is a communication tactic that creates a seamless flow to the conversation," Chen writes. "It also creates the impression we're there to collaborate, because we are recognizing others and their contributions too."
Some ways to start your comment include:
- "That's a really good point, in fact ... "
- "And if I may add to that ... "
- "Great idea, [insert colleague name]. It made me think of ... "
Anchoring: connecting points.
Now you "repeat one or two words spoken by the person we're listening to in order to maintain fluidity in the conversation," Chen writes. She calls this "anchoring" and it's a way to connect what we are about to talk about to what someone else has already said.
Let's say your co-worker is communicating how the marketing department seems to have some issues with a project the team submitted. Be sure to use "marketing department" when you respond.
For example, you can say, "Yes, you're right. The marketing department did have issues with that."
Then, go on to make your point.
Answering: showcase expertise.
After using a transition and connecting the dots back to what your colleague said, you're finally ready to express your original thought. The room's attention is directed at you and it's time to show why you wanted to speak up in the first place.
To effectively communicate, Chen writes that you should adhere to the following format:
- Make your point: What you want them to know.
- Give examples: One or two thoughts explaining that point.
- Reiterate your point: Restate your point to reinforce the message.
If you use the A4 sequence, you're more likely to get your timing right and quickly distill your message.
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